Day Ninety - Broken

Never ever make the mistake of thinking that things can't get worse. Because they can. I've had the most horrible news today. I'm still processing it. Last Saturday was my birthday and about this time I was on the phone to my cousin. She lives in Yorkshire. I don't see her very often and it was lovely of her to phone me up on my birthday. Today, just one week later,  I've had the news that a few days ago she fell down the stairs! She's broken her wrist in two places and her neck in two places. The good news is that she is alive and she is mobile, she's not paralysed. But she's only a year or two younger than me and it's going to be a long haul ahead of her. Her daughter said that she had an operation the day before yesterday and so far it appears to be successful. They put lots of pins and plates in various places and she has 20 stitches around her ear. She has some tingling in both hands but the doctors seem hopeful that will go away over the next couple of months. I have no idea when she'll be out of hospital. Her daughter is worried about the recovery, how it will be and what limitations she might have in the future but she reckons even with physio it will be several months before she is back to her old self. Ironically today is my mum's birthday and my mum was very, very fond of her and she was always so good to my mum. Whenever she was down here she always made time to come and see mum. And I'll always love her for that. I've sent her a text message and I will sort out a card that I can send to her partner Richard to give her. He's a lovely man but I bet he's worried sick at the moment.

I didn't walk this morning. Had a very bad night. I can't stop thinking about my friend. I can't figure out what's going on in her head. On the surface she appears to be so positive, talking about a future almost as if  there's nothing wrong with her.Then she'll make some little reference which tells me she knows exactly what's going on and she must be worried inside. I must admit I did come back and feel quite upset, I think that's why I didn't sleep. But I also had cramp again in the other leg. And I think it's because I wore different shoes yesterday as my planter fasciitis has returned too. I've also sat in different chairs without my back cushions. I did on Tuesday when my friend came round. I had the director's chair that I normally give guests but because of social distancing it made more sense for her to sit in my solid wooden chair. And yesterday at her house I sat in one of her chairs and clearly my body didn't like it.  I ended up coming downstairs and having cereal and a drink in the middle of the night! I did do some tai chi in the garden this morning. Then I've done some housework and a little bit of gardening. So I haven't been sitting around on my butt all day, which makes a change.

My friend's daughter-in-law who got my birthday wrong, came round with the three children this morning. It seems ironic that I haven't seen them for weeks, months even and now I see them two days on the trot! It was hilarious because the two-year-old had made a card but she wouldn't give it to me, crying and clinging  onto it harder every time  someone suggested she handed it over!  Kids eh?

But the weather is much pleasanter today. I sat in the garden briefly, read a little of my book. I picked some flowers early because it would have been my mum's 94th birthday today. Usually I buy her flowers . When she was alive I always made sure she had flowers in the hearth.  I bought them for her from various places. And ever since she died, 11 years ago nearly, I've bought flowers for special occasions  - Mother's Day, Easter, Christmas, birthdays and I say a few words and I dedicate them to her . Because I'm not going to any shops I can't do that at the moment so I rummaged round the garden to find something suitable.

Here is a picture of them. The vase was painted by my sister. It depicts our cat Peter. Mum really loved him. He was our childhood cat and he lived to be 21. He was a beautiful cat with such a lovely temperament. We all missed him.


My friend's daughter is booked to fly over here on June 23. She knows she has to quarantine for 14 days. But she's not sure where. I think it will do her mum such a lot of good to have her here emotionally and mentally but I do worry about infection. It's going to be a tough one because if she decides to quarantine away from her mum her mum is going to fret that she's here in the country and she can't see her. She lives in Portugal and Portugal has the lowest rate of infection in Europe. And she's also very clued up about sanitising but she would never forgive herself if her mum caught covid from her. And it will be another great big pickle that we have to unravel emotionally. Gosh, challenging times ahead. Even without lockdown all this would be challenging.