Day One Hundred and Thirty-Five - Tuesday

I'm beginning to wonder whether the seasons have shifted. The beautiful weather we had at the beginning of the lockdown in March and April was more summerlike than it is now. I hate to say it given my antipathy towards the later seasons but it's very autumnal right now. It's not unpleasant. But it's very windy. It's cloudy. When the Sun can get through it's warm. But it doesn't seem like July weather. Especially if I think of last July. Still, nothing you can do about the weather, as I always say.

More blackberries! I wish I'd weighed them each day because I'm sure I must have had at least a pound. And I'm going to keep picking them until they're gone. I have them for breakfast. They're a lovely flavour.

Apart from Sue on my walk I don't think I've had a conversation with anybody properly since my old teaching colleague sat in the garden that Saturday a week or two ago. I've had various interactions with my neighbour, the window cleaner, the postman etc, and I suppose that keeps me grounded to a degree. But I can feel myself becoming very much more withdrawn and isolated. When you realise that nobody wants your company or your conversation much you start to question the point of you. I am due to pop down to see my friend tomorrow. It was to be in the morning but it's not now, it's in the afternoon. I've been pushed back further down the list. She'll be going into quarantine prior to her surgery and then afterwards so she's wanting to see everybody, I guess, before she goes. I feel sad that I don't figure more highly. But it does make me more aware of my sense of place within things as a whole and again it contributes to my becoming more withdrawn and isolated. It's taken a lockdown to heighten my awareness I think.

Travel and holiday problems, particularly in regard to Spain, endure. But surely once people started travelling again, crossing borders, it was bound to cause problems? Surely that's how the virus has spread anyway -  because people travel. To my mind it should've been the one thing that should never have been eased on lockdown anywhere in the world. Stay in your own country. I know, I know, it's easy for me to say, it is easier said than done. I know, today when business is global, not all of these deals, acquisitions and mergers can be affected when working from home. But if the population of a country can be contained I think the virus could be more easily contained. I mean just look at what's happening in Europe. It can't be a coincidence that the spikes are occurring and countries are easing lockdowns.

Well I can sit back confident that my role as a curmudgeonly, miserable old lady has been ably filled today.