Day One Hundred and Thirty Eight - Scorcher Plus

And I thought yesterday was hot. Well today beats it by degrees -  literally.  Once again I'm so glad I take my walk nice and early. Although I'm out for longer and longer as my chats with Sue get longer and longer! The blackberries I picked today I've put in the freezer. I think I might quite like to get them out in the future and remember that they were picked during The Pandemic.

I've used the heat as an excuse to do nothing today apart from reading. Is that nothing? It never is to me but there are those who view it purely as a leisure activity. It isn't a book I have to read for review or blogging purposes. It is purely for my own pleasure.

I didn't see this today but Sue did. Some chap was jogging and his dog was attached to him by some kind of strap or conveyance and the poor dog was having to keep up with him. But what intrigued Sue was that it looked as if at any moment the dog could've just tripped him up or he might caught up in this contraption. I've seen people on bikes supposedly "walking" the dogs at the same time. It does seem a rather precarious activity for both man and beast.

Big news today is that our prime minister has made some lockdown changes. Plans to reopen places like casinos, ice rinks and bowling alleys have been postponed with just hours to spare. There have been some spikes primarily in the north of England that have caused some stricter lockdowns to be enforced. Cases have begun to rise in England and I suppose that if it could happen in one part of the country it can happen elsewhere. I actually think this is the correct decision to make however haphazardly it's been done. But, there had to be a but didn't there,  paradoxically, shielding for the 2.2 million vulnerable people will still end tomorrow! Unless they're in part of the strict lockdown area when I guess it will continue. Face coverings will be mandatory now in cinemas and churches. Why don't we go the whole hog and say wear facemasks whenever you're indoors, as well as out if you fancy it. The people who will comply will continue to comply and those who object will continue to object.

There's a new little mantra, if you can call it that, "Hands, face, space – get a test. "
And Chief medical Officer for England Chris Whitty says that the idea that the country could open everything up and still keep the virus under control is clearly wrong. He reckons that the UK has potentially reached the limit for how much of society can be opened up.. Schools are reopening in September, Professor Whitty, what do you reckon to that?

 Again I stand by my continued stance that to remain in lockdown is the only sensible thing to do.

Day One Hundred and Thirty Seven - Scorcher

Oooops! Malfunction on the part of the blogger delayed the publishing of this blog post. 

Today is turned into a bit of a scorcher. I'm grateful I have the routine of getting up really early and going for a walk. Because I wouldn't fancy doing it now. But I'd miss the walk. Blackberries for breakfast yet again. There is something delightful about "free" food. I tried to do a little clearing in the garden. It really was too hot and the continuing problem of my hands hurting kind of put a stop to it. But I always think every little bit helps. It's funny though it used to be that I could keep going until my back hurt. Now I only keep going until my hand seizes up. Such fun this ageing lark!

Coronavirus news today -  they have extended the period of self isolation from 7 days to 10 days. I often wonder if they had kept it at the original 14 days would we have seen so many cases and so many deaths? Damning statement that England has the highest number of excess deaths in Europe during the pandemic and that's from official data apparently - this from The Guardian - 

'ONS report on excess deaths in Europe - Summary

• The ONS says that in the first half of 2020 England had “the longest continuous period of excess mortality of any country compared, resulting in England having the highest levels of excess mortality in Europe for the period as a whole”. 

• It says that Spain had the highest peak level of excess deaths. England had the second highest national peak. That means that although overall, over the whole period, England had the highest levels of excess deaths, at a particular stage in the crisis the situation in Spain was worse.

• It says, when you compare local authority areas rather than countries, the highest rates of excess deaths were in central Spain and northern Italy. The highest peak was in Bergamo in northern Italy, where excess deaths reached 847.7% in the week ending 20 March. By comparison, in the UK Brent was the local authority area with the highest peak excess mortality, at 249.7% in the week ending 17 April.

• It says, when you compare cities, Madrid had the highest peak level of excess deaths. In Madrid they reached 432.7% in the week ending 27 March. In the UK Birmingham had the highest peak excess mortality, at 249.7% in the week ending 17 April.

• It says that in the UK every local authority area had excess deaths during the peak of the crisis in April, but that in other European countries there was more regional variation, and they experienced “more geographically localised excess mortality”.'

Makes for sobering reading, doesn't it? Even the Prime Minister is warning people that this crisis isn't over yet. In fact he said people shouldn't delude themselves. Earlier he should've spoken to me a lot earlier. I could've advised him far more effectively than Dominic bloody Cummings! I could've told him that people are deluded. I've been looking at them through my window for weeks now. Maybe I should've been prime minister? I would have closed the borders right away and tried to stop all travel between countries. That would've been my first move. And I still reckon that had that been done we might not even have needed a lockdown. But that wonderful thing-  hindsight-  is of absolutely zero use right now. 

Loads of gatekeeper butterflies flying about today. Unbothered. They don't have to quarantine or self isolate or social distance. It's a joy to behold. My poor old buddleia is looking very brown and sorry for itself. And I simply can't do all that I need to do to it. I've never been able to tie it back efficiently on my own. And I've tried to deadhead as many blooms as I can but it's grown so tall. I couldn't reach it without steps and I'm way too wobbly on them nowadays. So with regret I just have to leave it. I think the bees and the butterflies are a little bit disappointed in me. However the lavender has been a great success this year. There's rarely been less than half a dozen bees on it at any one time. Certainly feel like I'm doing my bit for the bees.

My friend's daughter reckons that eating Quorn upsets her stomach. That's a bit of a disaster because the majority of the meals I prepared for her are Quorn-based meals. The first one I did she reckoned she absolutely loved so I set to and made more of the same! Well, it isn't actually that she doesn't like them, it's that they give her the collywobbles. It's no problem for me because I can eat all of them but it just means that it's left her short of meals. So I'm going to have to go back to the drawing board and have a think about what I can do for her,  feasible meals that she can heat up easily. It's going to be really important when her mum is in hospital. I'm going to try some soya mince and see if that is okay for her. Otherwise it's gonna be lentils, chickpeas et cetera. I think she eats fish and I know that her mum likes fish so she can eat the same meal when fish is on the menu. 

Day One Hundred and Thirty-Six - Farewells, Friends and Track 'n' Tracing

I've just returned from spending a couple of hours in my friend's garden before she starts her three week plus quarantine tomorrow. I felt a bit sad. But I wanted to keep it together for her sake. She is so optimistic. It's as if once the kidney is gone that's it and she'll be fine. But I don't think that will be quite the end of the treatment. They will surely check her for cancer periodically and she still has to be rescanned for them to look at her pelvis again. But let's just take one step at a time. She now has two weeks quarantine before the surgery but she has to go up three days before to have a Covid test. They say she'll be in hospital three days and then she can come home. Whether she has to stay in bed or not I don't know. She may not feel too great although it is robotic surgery. It feels like a long journey ahead. I gave her a healing angel bracelet to take to hospital with her.

Her daughter and another friend were there as well but we were all socially distanced. Something interesting I found out and it hasn't happened to me. But the track and trace app is automatically downloaded on peoples' phones whether they wanted it or not. They have the option to activate it if they wish. My phone is so old it doesn't appear to have downloaded to mine. The fact that they can do that without even asking or telling you bothers me dreadfully. There is an argument for it being necessary. But it seems odd that something like that cannot be discussed or talked about openly and yet there's all this hooha about wearing a face mask.

The daughter has her return flight booked for the end of August. Somehow I felt shocked by that because I think it's too soon. But she can't stay away for ever. Her poor husband is having to deal with all the animals in their animal sanctuary on his own. I know my friend will be distraught when she goes back. It really has been marvellous having her here for the moral and emotional support her mum so badly needs at the moment. I think it would be a very different story if she hadn't managed to get over here. However her brother is still being a total arse. He's resolved the issue with his mum but he's still at odds with his sister who he thinks ruined his daughter's birthday. I'm furious with him.

The weather seems to have improved today. More sustained periods of sunshine and it has felt warmer. But I will say that there is a very autumnal nip in the air in the mornings. I may have already said that before. Tough. I'm saying it again. Solitary walk this morning. No conversations but a fist full of blackberries. They're so delicious.

Nicola Sturgeon the Prime Minister of Scotland says she is concerned about people getting a bit lax over coronavirus. I think she's absolutely right. That is so the right word. They are getting lax. You can see it everywhere.

Some scientists believe that coronavirus could be eliminated from this country if only people would stop travelling. i.e. air travel. I think that mirrors something I suggested in a previous blog post? If I didn't write about it, it's certainly something I've thought about. Stop travel and you probably wouldn't need lockdowns. It's travelling that spread the virus anyway. Obviously. Surely it's not going to go from one country to another without people going from one country to another. Stop doing that and boom! We'll get rid of the damn thing. Or we might have done......................

Day One Hundred and Thirty-Five - Tuesday

I'm beginning to wonder whether the seasons have shifted. The beautiful weather we had at the beginning of the lockdown in March and April was more summerlike than it is now. I hate to say it given my antipathy towards the later seasons but it's very autumnal right now. It's not unpleasant. But it's very windy. It's cloudy. When the Sun can get through it's warm. But it doesn't seem like July weather. Especially if I think of last July. Still, nothing you can do about the weather, as I always say.

More blackberries! I wish I'd weighed them each day because I'm sure I must have had at least a pound. And I'm going to keep picking them until they're gone. I have them for breakfast. They're a lovely flavour.

Apart from Sue on my walk I don't think I've had a conversation with anybody properly since my old teaching colleague sat in the garden that Saturday a week or two ago. I've had various interactions with my neighbour, the window cleaner, the postman etc, and I suppose that keeps me grounded to a degree. But I can feel myself becoming very much more withdrawn and isolated. When you realise that nobody wants your company or your conversation much you start to question the point of you. I am due to pop down to see my friend tomorrow. It was to be in the morning but it's not now, it's in the afternoon. I've been pushed back further down the list. She'll be going into quarantine prior to her surgery and then afterwards so she's wanting to see everybody, I guess, before she goes. I feel sad that I don't figure more highly. But it does make me more aware of my sense of place within things as a whole and again it contributes to my becoming more withdrawn and isolated. It's taken a lockdown to heighten my awareness I think.

Travel and holiday problems, particularly in regard to Spain, endure. But surely once people started travelling again, crossing borders, it was bound to cause problems? Surely that's how the virus has spread anyway -  because people travel. To my mind it should've been the one thing that should never have been eased on lockdown anywhere in the world. Stay in your own country. I know, I know, it's easy for me to say, it is easier said than done. I know, today when business is global, not all of these deals, acquisitions and mergers can be affected when working from home. But if the population of a country can be contained I think the virus could be more easily contained. I mean just look at what's happening in Europe. It can't be a coincidence that the spikes are occurring and countries are easing lockdowns.

Well I can sit back confident that my role as a curmudgeonly, miserable old lady has been ably filled today.

Day One Hundred and Thirty-Four - Monday Greys

I nearly didn't get up this morning. It seemed so dark that I thought I'd got the time wrong. But I hadn't. It was so gloomy today and on the brink of rain for the whole of my walk. Nevertheless I still managed to come home with a nice bag of blackberries. I've done very well out of this foraging lark. I bumped into Sue on several occasions as we followed our own routes it was quite amusing. I only saw one of my other "wavers". Don't know what's happened to everybody else. I don't know whether to be worried about them or not. Not long after I got back it poured.

I had a heartbreaking incident last night. I was preparing my meal in the kitchen and I glanced out of the window and saw a bird on the bird bath. I wasn't surprised by this because that's why I have a bird bath. And it's not the first time I've seen a bird on the bird bath! However when the same bird was there half an hour later I felt concerned. So I went out and approached him/her/it very gradually and quietly. It was a young jay. Absolutely beautiful. Fluffy little feathers and those innocent, trusting eyes but he was just standing on the bird bath. He made no attempt to fly away which bothered me because I thought that he might be injured. There was nothing visible that I could see. I wondered if perhaps he'd been shocked by something and was just recovering. So I went back indoors and left him. Another half an hour went by and there was still no change. He was still not moving and in the same place. So I grabbed a handful of peanuts to see if perhaps he was weak and needed to feed. As I tried to throw the peanuts to him he did pop off the bird bath and into the undergrowth clearly alarmed. It looked to me as if he was injured and possibly couldn't fly. That upset me a lot. I left him alone. I didn't want to shock him or frighten him anymore. Because I know that sometimes the shock can kill a bird. And I trawled the Internet to see if I could find any help or advice. But a lot of the charitable organisations are quite understandably affected by coronavirus and were more or less telling me to get in touch with a vet. But at that time on a Sunday evening I felt it was unlikely that the vet would be of any help. And there was no way I could get there. I didn't know what to do. I found a little pot of water because I thought he's got food and he's got water that's maybe all he needs and I felt he was better in the undergrowth than he was standing out like a sore thumb on the bird bath. I put some more peanuts down as well but that just seem to frighten him. Once again I thought it best to leave him so I came in doors but I just couldn't settle or get him out of my mind. So I texted my next door neighbour. He's been a bird lover for years and is quite knowledgeable. So I briefly told him. The next thing I know he's knocking at my door. He kept a social distance I'm glad to say. And he said the bird had been in his garden for the last couple of days. He had seen the parents about but he thinks they've left the bird to fend for himself. He thinks the bird was stopped by a cat and flew up and over the fence. He thinks the bird can fly. I'm not sure if the cat might actually have nicked him. I said I don't think the bird can fly. So my neighbour asked if he could come round the side and have a look. He did. And he observed the bird for awhile. And he said he's moving in exactly the same way as he was in the garden. Anyway he said as long as he's got food and water and he's just left alone we have to let nature take its course. He said trying to catch him and take him somewhere could kill him which I had considered. So that's what I did with my heart in my mouth, I left the little fella there in the undergrowth. I refilled the water pot and put some more peanuts down. When I looked this morning the water pot had been knocked over and the peanuts were still there but I couldn't see the bird anywhere. My neighbour reckons that if anything had caught him there would be feathers in evidence. I hope he finally got brave enough and was able to fly. Or his parents came back for him. I'll always wonder what happened to him.

The window cleaner turned up unexpectedly today today. I didn't mind. The rain has stopped and I think we'll have a few clear days or dry days. He usually texts. Now he reckons he doesn't have my number which was rubbish because he's texted in the past! Anyway I was here and I was able to open up the side way and pay him. Which I'm glad about  otherwise he wants paying by bank transfer and all that nonsense.

My friend sent me some photos of her weekend barbecue at her son's. She reckons there were only nine people there, only one was out of their bubble and they were all socially distanced. I would have to say the photos suggest otherwise. There is one of her daughter hugging the niece. But it's not for me to comment. I found that people talk the talk but they don't necessarily walk the walk. People bend the protocols to their own ends. Not even sure they realise it because they swear blind they are locked down and following all the rules. She starts her two week quarantine on Thursday prior to her surgery and then she has to quarantine for a week after that. I'm hoping to pop in to see her on the Wednesday, I haven't seen her for a couple of weeks now although we are connecting via the pop master game.

This today -

'The UK’s Chief Veterinary Officer has confirmed that the virus responsible for COVID-19 has been detected in a pet cat in the UK.

The infection was confirmed following tests at the Animal and Plant Health Agency (APHA) laboratory in Weybridge on Wednesday 22 July.

Although this is the first confirmed case of an animal infection with the coronavirus strain in the UK, there is no evidence to suggest that the animal was involved in transmission of the disease to its owners or that pets or other domestic animals are able to transmit the virus to people.

The advice from Public Health England is for people to wash their hands regularly, including before and after contact with animals.

All available evidence suggests that the cat contracted the coronavirus from its owners who had previously tested positive for COVID-19. The cat and its owners have since made a full recovery and there was no transmission to other animals or people in the household.'

So, animals can catch COVID-19 from the owners. Interesting. How about the other way round? Can owners catch COVID-19 from their pets? I've not stroked any cats or dogs during this pandemic. Not from choice, believe me, but from common sense. I think that common sense must prevail.

Still feeling a bit down today. I think it's pandemic pessimism. They'll probably come up with some kind of mnemonic for a person's mental state following, during and after lockdown. Maybe I can get counselling. I'm joking. But it's no joke.

Day One Hundred and Thirty Three - Sunday Blues

One of those Sundays where everyone around me seemed to have company and visitors. And even though, for many, social distancing seems to be a thing of the past their conversations are still socially distanced. i.e. loud! It made me feel very alone. However I did have yet another chat with Sue on my walk this morning. We discussed our feelings about using public transport. Not at the moment obviously but in the future. She was telling me about her son who had to make a trip to Westminster to pick up a laptop for work. He wasn’t looking forward to the trip at all. But he said there were only two people in his carriage and everyone was well spaced out. He did not take the Underground from Fenchurch Street. He elected to walk to Westminster.

It was a beautiful early morning, quite the best part of the day. The sky was almost cloudless save for a cotton wool band of cloud stretching just above the horizon of the sea. The sun at that time in the morning casts the most wonderful extravaganza of light and shadow. There was hardly anyone about and the air was rich with that early morningness that makes you think you might be on holiday. That undefinable frisson  of feeling that I often wish I could bottle and keep beside me for days like these.

I strapped my left hand up and managed a half hours gardening after breakfast. Then I did some housework. The strapping seems to help. My other main task for the day was to sort out the birthdays of my friend’s younger son and his family. I’ve acknowledged them all but I usually send a card and gifts for the children. I pop some cash in a card for the adults. I’ve done neither. All of their birthdays fall between April and July. What I’ve decided to do is give them an Amazon Gift card with a substantial amount so they can either buy something for the family or choose something individually. So I made a card with the lettering ‘Happy Birthdays’ and penned a letter explains myself! I shall post it next week and hopefully it will arrive in time for the final birthday on 30th.

I shall phone my brother shortly. An unexpected turn of events has occurred. Apparently there has been an outbreak of coronavirus at a town very near him and a place that he visits frequently. It was also the place where my next door neighbours stayed last weekend. Bit spooky. The outbreak was in a caravan park. Although my neighbours were camping I don’t believe it was in a caravan although I‘ve yet to talk to them about it. They have people staying for the weekend. My sister has phoned my brother and says she thinks he is being rational and sensible.

Globally coronavirus does not seem to be slowing down. A million new cases! Even North
Korea has one now. One suspected case and a state of emergency has been called. That’s the way to stamp it out. I can be rational about my own lockdown when I consider the picture worldwide. It’s only going to take people travelling again for figures to rise. Which they are doing, apparently, in Spain, France and Germany. And some of these countries had strict lockdowns, too. See what happens when you ease a lockdown?

Day One Hundred and Thirty Two - Obesity, Conversation and Face masks

Oh joy of joys, apparently being obese or overweight , which I am, puts you at greater  risk of serious illness or death from COVID say the experts. They don't say why. And perhaps I'm being a bit pedantic to demand to know why. I'm not daft. I know that being overweight puts your health under strain. But it's such a general statement in respect of the virus. I suppose I should be glad in the last 12 months I've shed one stone but it's not good enough. I need to lose a hell of a lot more. And my poor sister, I think, is quite worried by this. Since her traffic accident last December she's struggled with exercise and movement. So she's put on weight. And the other problem with lockdown is that I think many of us have been guilty of comfort eating. No? It's only me? Oh well.........

It might not have been Sue I saw yesterday. For I crossed paths with her today and she was more than happy to stop and chat. She reckons I'm very easy to talk to! I found that extremely uplifting. And once again I'm amazed at how much we have in common. She said she is usually very quiet. As am I. I had to apologise a couple of times when she was talking for butting in. But I'm so used to having to impose myself on a conversation, if I want to say anything at all I have to blurt it out there and then! I said I'm usually the listener and she said yes she was too. She told me a lot about her life.  How she came from childhood on the Isle of Wight to be living in Essex. She is very learned. She has an M.A. in history and was working on a Ph.D when sadly her money ran out and she couldn't afford to carry on. She said she still has the notes although it didn't sound as if she was going to do anything with them. And we talked about music and society's attitudes in general, not just about coronavirus, but how the world has change sociologically. I also picked yet more blackberries. They are delicious.

Face masks are now compulsory in shops and public transport in the UK. And there is divided opinion about one) their efficiency and two) whether people should be forced to wear them. Here are two points of view which I think reach the same conclusion. One is from a retired surgeon and one is by a unretired satirist, Jonathan Pie. My friend in Gran Canaria sent me the link from Facebook which I don't do but I did manage to find it on YouTube.
If you take exception to bad language you might not like this. I found it fucking pertinent.

A Satirist's Viewpoint

A Surgeon's Viewpoint

 A medical  point of view..
RETIRED SURGEON Sam Laucks, has this to say about wearing masks:
“OK, here’s my rant about masks:
I have spent the past 39 years working in the field of surgery. For a significant part of that time, I have worn a mask. I have worked with hundreds (probably thousands) of colleagues during those years, who have also worn masks. Not a single one us of became ill, passed out or died from lack of oxygen. Not a single one of us became ill, passed out or died from breathing too much carbon dioxide. Not a single one us of became ill, passed out or died from rebreathing a little of our own exhaled air. Let’s begin here by putting those scare tactics to rest!
(It is true that some people, with advanced lung diseases, may be so fragile that a mask could make their already-tenuous breathing more difficult. If your lungs are that bad, you probably shouldn’t be going out in public at the present time anyway; the consequences if you are exposed to Covid-19 would likely be devastating.)
~ “But”, you ask, “can’t viruses go right through the mask, because they are so small?” (“Masks keep viruses out just as well as a chain link fence keeps mosquitoes out,” some tell us.) It is true that individual virus particles can pass through the pores of a mask; however, viruses don’t move on their own. They do not fly across the room like a mosquito, wiggle through your mask like a worm, or fly up your nose like a gnat. The virus is essentially nothing more than a tiny blob of genetic material. Covid-19 travels in a CARRIER – the carrier is a fluid droplet- fluid droplets that you expel when you cough, sneeze, sing, laugh, talk or simply exhale. Most of your fluid droplets will be stopped from entering the air in the room if you are wearing a mask. Wearing a mask is a very efficient way to protect others if you are carrying the virus (even if you don’t know that you are infected). In addition, if someone else’s fluid droplets happen to land on your mask, many of them will not pass through. This gives the wearer some additional protection, too. But, the main reason to wear a mask is to PROTECT OTHERS. Even if you don’t care about yourself, wear your mask to protect your neighbours, co-workers and friends!
~ A mask is certainly not 100% protective. However, it appears that the severity of Covid-19 infection is at least partially “dose-dependent.” In other words, the more virus particles that enter your body, the sicker you are likely to become. Why not decrease that volume if you can? “What have you got to lose?!”
~ “But doesn’t a requirement or a request to wear a mask violate my constitutional rights?” You’re also not allowed to go into the grocery store if you are not wearing pants. You can’t yell “fire” in the Produce Department. You’re not allowed to urinate on the floor in the Frozen Food Section. Do you object to those restrictions? Rules, established for the common good, are component of a civilised society.
~ “But aren’t masks uncomfortable?” Some would say that underwear or shoes can be uncomfortable, but we still wear them. (Actually, being on a ventilator is pretty darned uncomfortable, too!) Are masks really so bad that you can’t tolerate them, even if they will help keep others healthy?
~ “But won’t people think I’m a snowflake or a wimp if I wear a mask?” I hope you have enough self-confidence to overcome that.
~ “But won’t I look stupid if I wear a mask?” I’ve decided not to dignify that question with an answer!! 🙂
~ “But I never get sick; I’m not worried.” Well, then, wear a mask for the sake of the rest of us who are not so perfect!
There is good evidence that masks make a real difference in diminishing the transmission of Covid-19. Please, for the sake of others (and for the sake of yourself), wear your mask when in public. It won’t kill you!
P.S. - And, by the way, please be sure that BOTH your nose and mouth are covered!
Recommendations around mask usage are confusing. The science isn't. Evidence shows that masks are extremely effective to slow the coronavirus and may be the best tool available right now to fight it."

Day One Hundred and Thirty One - Lunches

More blackberries for me this morning. I’m gonna wait until tomorrow to eat them because I hope I might even be able to pick some more. Solo walk this morning. Didn’t talk to anybody. I did see Sue but she didn’t stop to talk. Fair enough. I might have talked too much. I’m not used to it. Usually I’m a listener. Except when I’m writing. I talk too much then!

My sister went round to her friend’s home in Twickenham yesterday. She went through the house to the garden and ate the lunch that her friend prepared. She feels it is a milestone because she hadn’t felt able to do that up to now. She said she also used her friend’s loo and it was spotless and there were sprays everywhere for people to use.

My brother’s wife is down with her mother waiting for the new carer to start in August. That means their son is home alone. It’s not as bad as it sounds because he is nearly 30! So my brother asked his son if he was happy for him to come into the house. And his son agreed and then invited his dad to lunch because he’d made a quiche! They ate it in the garden. I thought that was lovely. And then they went out for a ride  somewhere in the car which they were happy to do. My nephew sat in the back so that they maintained some social distance.

All of this sounds as if people are moving on. Sadly I’m not. I sense it may become a problem. But I’m not sure what to do. 😞

Day One Hundred and Thirty - Blackberry Breakfast

Here's what I scrumped this morning and added the handful I picked the other morning to them. I stewed them with ginger and apple and had them with my cereal and they were absolutely delicious.
So from that you can deduce that I was up and out as normal this morning. I took some painkillers before bed last night and my right hand certainly has improved. The left still hurts but not enough to stop me walking. I bumped into Sue again and we stood chatting for ages. It's interesting because we agree on so many things and she makes me feel far less paranoid about sticking to the lockdown protocols. Because she's doing exactly the same. It was very reassuring. She says that sometimes she leaves it till later to come out for a walk, 8 o'clock in the morning or similar time. I asked her what it was like then. She said it's not as pleasant. There are too many people who aren't aware of others. We both agreed how inconsiderate the joggers are as a generalisation. There are exceptions. I feel like I owe it to those exceptions to make a point of mentioning them.

I read on the BBC news today that there are going to be walk-in test centres to cope with a winter of coronavirus. There is concern apparently that people are not coming forward for testing. That would mean that the statistics can in no way be reliable then can they? Because if people have the virus and aren't coming forward for testing then there may be far more people carrying the bug that is realised. The random tests apparently indicate there about 1700 new cases a day. That sounds like a hell of a lot to me. But some people aren't showing symptoms even though they're infected. I don't know how you get round that one. If you've got no symptoms you're not gonna turn up for a test are you?

I was sitting in the garden today and a butterfly landed on me. It made me very, very happy for some reason. I felt chosen. I sat extremely still while it did whatever it does. Then it flew off again and I feel curiously bereft. I've just seen a butterfly flying into my neighbour's house though his open window. He's going to try and get it out. I hope he means it and he wasn't just saying it to pacify me. I haven't spoken to him for awhile. I thought I had done something to piss him off. But I don't think I have. He's going back to work on Monday. I asked him how he felt about it and if he was a bit anxious about going on the trains and he says he's working from home to start with. He's been furloughed for the last four months. And his partner/fiance has had all the contents of her office, including her office chair,  delivered to her in a van because her office is moving and it looks as if they may be continuing with getting their employees to work from home on a long-term basis. It should've been their wedding last weekend. So they went away for a weekend. To Shropshire. Craven Arms! I've been there with my brother. He goes there quite frequently. I feel very strange to think that they were close to my brother. It made me sad too because I feel so far away from him. I usually phone him at some point in the week but I had a message from him saying he was charging his phone and he'd be incommunicado for a bit. So I'll leave it to him to phone me.

I had a chat with my friend this morning. She is very emotional, very tearful at the moment. I think it must be the impending surgery. I did feel sad. But there's nothing I can do. Except be on the end of the phone and listen. I think the inconsistencies of peoples' approach to the lockdown currently are also getting to her. She had a friend round who works at the hospital. She said to her friend, so everything is back to normal now is it? And the friend said, no way. She seemed aghast at the very suggestion. But I think that it looks as if things are going back to normal because the people we are seeing in the street, out and about, are not worried about the virus returning to their idea of normality.  But I think behind closed doors there is an awful lot of people like us who are still respecting the lockdown and trying to stay home and stay safe.

I've done very little again today to try and rest these wretched hands. I'm not happy about it. And the same pattern will continue I guess. As soon as they start to feel better I'll start doing things again and they'll hurt again. But things need doing. It's as simple as that and if I don't do them no one else will! But apart from an irritating wind it's been quite pleasant weather. I sat outside and finished another book. I did try to do some writing outside but the wind kept blowing my papers and my thoughts into disarray. So I gave it up as a bad job.

There is discussion on the old schoolgirls WhatsApp group about a potential meet up in September. One of the girls, very kindly, is hosting a barbecue at her home. However I don't think I'm going to go. One of the other girls has offered me a lift but I'm still not comfortable about travelling in a car with somebody. You cannot social distance in a car. Plus there will be more than six people in an outside space. Now I know it's September and the guidelines may change yet again but I still don't think I should go. I'm not really part of the group. I don't feel part of it. I wasn't part of that group at school. I don't even think they liked me much. So if I went I'll probably sit there feeling separate and wanting to come home.

I messaged my sister and her reply was that she was at a friends having lunch. This is quite a milestone for her I think. I'm going to be interested to hear some details. Like whether she took her own lunch or not and whether it was indoors or out. I think that's how it will be though. People will gradually do what they feel comfortable doing. I'm just worried I'm never going to feel comfortable doing anything! Except writing this blog of course. 😉

Day One Hundred and Twenty Nine - Not Quite a Blog Post

Not much to say today, folks. Dreadful sleepless night where my hands kept me awake they were so painful. So I ended up not going for a walk, not getting any more blackberries and I’ve just literally oozed about all day with nothing to show for it. I just felt the best thing I could do was try and rest these hands as much as I could to let them recover. I even fell asleep this afternoon! Now that is simply not me.

I did have a chat on the phone with my friend whose blood test results from her hospital visit last week show that she has - wait for it  - E. coli! She may have to have antibiotics. I do hope it doesn’t jeopardise the surgery. We almost laughed over it. Because all this fear about picking up coronavirus and she picks up E. coli! From where, she has no idea. She hasn’t been eating out.

Well all I can say, my loyal readers, is that I hope I will be “back on form“ tomorrow.

Day One Hundred and Twenty Eight - Covid 'here forever'

I knew there was a reason I avoid the news. Admittedly this was one of the tabloids but some Oxford professor has said that this pathogen is here forever and it isn't going anywhere. And he cited the comparison with polio and how they've been trying to eradicate polio and still haven't done so. I suppose the only cheer I take from that is that polio is far less prevalent than ever it was years ago. The most immediate problem seems to be winter where the Chief medical Officer Professor Chris Witty says a surge of COVID-19 in winter is a really serious concern.  I was also reading of potential food shortages because of Brexit. None of it has put me in a very good mood today.

So poo to the news. Sometimes being childish just gets you through the day.

On the other hand I have washed the heavy lounge curtains, dried them and hang them back up at the windows, washed and cleaned the filters in my vacuum cleaner, done some deadheading in the garden until my hands hurt so much I couldn't use them anymore.  I've been reading a book for the rest of the day. And it was pleasant enough and quiet enough to read the bulk of it in the garden.

I did go for my walk today and I foraged for a few ripe blackberries. They were right at the end of the road where I look over at the ruined castle. I didn't have anything to put them in but I had a handkerchief.  I picked some and carefully carried them home in that. It was a blue spotted hanky not a red spotted hanky but hey, let's not get picky. I'll take along a little polythene bag tomorrow and see if there are any more. I don't know if it's stealing? I suppose it might be but it seems to be on no man's land. At that time in the morning I don't think anyone is going to spot me and if they want to throw me in jail and clap me in irons  for a few scrumped blackberries then so be it. I'll come quietly. officer.

If there is no blog post tomorrow it's because I've been done for blackberrying.

Day One Hundred and Twenty Seven - New Friendships

I know where carrier bag man lives! I pass the house every day, there and back, on my walk. But he was on his way back today without the carrier bag so my mission to stalk him and see what he's doing has come to nothing............ so far.

I had a lovely chat with one of my wavers today. I was right when I mused that she might have some kind of health issue. I even pondered whether it was an immune thing. She does. She has problems with her autoimmune system due to the prescribing of, a now withdrawn, drug for her osteoporosis. She said she picks up everything, frequent ear infections and colds so she is very wary of the virus. It explains her anxiety. But we had a really good chat today. We've got a lot in common which was nice and we ended up exchanging mobile numbers with a view to perhaps having a coffee sometime when all this is over. I'm going to lend her a book so we may arrange some kind of distanced meet up so that I can hand it over to her. We talked about everything under the sun, I think. Pain relief, arthritis the Tower of London, the Wars of the Roses, Phillippa Gregory and that's not to mention the conversation we had about bees and butterflies and foxes the last time we stopped and chatted!

Interesting what's happening to the Covid snake. Where the grass is growing all around the stones, because they can't cut the grass without disturbing them, most are now hidden from view. You wouldn't know there was anything there unless you get close. That's a bit of a shame but I can't see any way around it. However the snake continues to grow.

I've been thinking about something my teacher friend was saying when she came round on Saturday. She doesn't do online shopping. Her account got hacked several years ago and she had money stolen and it really put her off. So she goes up to the local supermarket once a week and aims to arrive just as the priority slots for elderly people finishes. I asked her what it was like as I haven't been near a supermarket since lockdown began. She said its fine in the supermarket itself but it's just getting there that's the problem. Like me, she doesn't drive, she has to walk. And she said it is so difficult to keep a social distance particularly at the local school where all the children and parents are congregating outside. There is no attempt to social distance and she said very few are wearing face masks. It's another one of those situations where it makes me worry that I've got it all wrong. Why aren't these people worried? Why aren't they doing what they can?

There were protests in Hyde Park by people who didn't feel they should be required to wear face-masks in shops. It infringes their freedom, their human rights blah blah blah. But I had to laugh. In one of the photos posted on social media one of the protesters had arrived at the meet wearing a plague doctor mask. I presume the intention was ironic. I'm afraid I just found it moronic! Another of the protesters was wearing a flat earth society T-shirt. Need I say anymore? Apparently it was organised by the businessman who tried to sue the government in the High Court insisting that the lockdown was illegal. He lost the battle. But it doesn't appear he's going to give up making a nuisance of himself. I can laugh up to a point but it makes me so ashamed that I live in a country that is so shortsighted sometimes. So selfish, so self absorbed that they cannot see the bigger picture.

I cut the grass today before Popmaster. And after Popmaster ( I scored 30 in the first round, who wants to touch me?) I washed the net curtains in the lounge and cleaned the windows and the PVC and made the whole area all lovely. I've rehung the net curtains now and it smells all clean and fresh in the room. I'm going to wash the heavy curtains. But I will do that at my leisure. I'm going to bed so early these days that I don't need to draw them in the evenings. I don't like the nets being down too long because the world and his wife can look in through my windows. And I don't like being observed. I worry that people are going to case the joint and see if there's anything worth coming back for, breaking in and stealing. I know, I'm a drama queen, get over it.

Day One Hundred and Twenty-Six - Sunday No Sun Day

I didn't go for a walk this morning. I didn't sleep very well. My rear neighbours had a party. I think they've decided to abandon social distancing since it's likely to be done away with in November anyway. So let's do it now, why not, hey? But to their credit the music stopped between midnight and 1 am. It often goes on into the early hours. I did fall asleep but when I woke my hands were so painful I had to get up and have some painkillers and rub some stuff on them in the hope that I could get back to sleep again which I did. It was so grey and so raincloud heavy when I woke up for my walk that I went back to bed again. However I did go out after breakfast. I went into town and posted my library books through the letterbox in the library. Which for some reason I didn't see on my trip there last week. I don't know, why it was fairly obvious! Anyhow I figured on a Sunday morning there wouldn't be too many people about and there wasn't so it was a fairly anxiety free outing. I've done tai chi and yoga this morning also so I feel I've done a reasonable amount of exercise.

I took advantage of my Amazon Prime membership to order some groceries from the local Morrison's. When my friend and her family go into quarantine again prior to her surgery they won't be able to get out so I want to make sure I've made plenty of vegetarian meals for her daughter. Purchasing those ingredients was my main reason for the order. I might just have bought some strawberries for myself. 😉

Sunday is bed change day and I hung the bedding outdoors to dry only to find that it had started to rain. Very fine drizzle and I spotted it in time to retrieve the laundry before it got wet through. It's been doing it on and off all day now. That fine, misty drizzle that almost doesn't settle. I had a couple of book reviews to catch up on. And I've had an idea for some short stories that I've been jotting down thoughts about. Then of course the shopping arrived and that had to be dealt with and sanitised. So all in all it's been quite a busy day in a leisurely kind of fashion. And I was worried my hands would prevent me from doing much today.

I shall phone my brother shortly and see what's happened in his neck of the woods. It's been a typical kind of Sunday. A distinctive Sunday feel to it. Sometimes that makes me feel very down. But I often find that when I'm writing it takes my mind off everything else. It's like time stands still most. And I don't give coronavirus, lockdown, or social distancing a single thought. And I think I'm better for it!

Day One Hundred and Twenty-Five - Heavy, Heat and Hospitality

The walk was a slog today. I felt very heavy. I had the sense of really having to push and propel myself forward. But I did it though. No one about. Just the way I like it. The forecast was promising a hot day and it didn't look as if that was going to happen earlier in the morning. So I set to and did some housework. Trying to keep on top of it and doing something every day.

My friend was due to come round this afternoon. It was her birthday yesterday and I had made a card for her. But I hadn't bought her a gift. I'm not going anywhere near the shops and I usually get her a plant. She lives in a flat but she maintains a container garden just outside her front door and I know that she loves new additions. So I decided to put up a couple of my successful seedlings. Seedlings no more I have to say they're fully mature and blooming plants. So I potted up a Salpiglossis and a Nemesia for her. I wrapped them in glossy paper and put them in a gift bag with the card. Is that mean or cheapskate of me? I would've got her a plant if I was confident going to the shops.

It warmed up considerably by lunchtime. And there were butterflies all over the patio. Today I spotted a comma, a red admiral, a gatekeeper, cabbage whites and peacocks in abundance. Also a gorgeous little amber coloured moth and I have no idea what it is called. I'm very proud to say that I have bees in their swarms, not literally, in my garden - all over the buddleia and the crocosmia, the evening primrose, the lavender, the Japanese anemone and the salvias-  it's a joy. Man, the garden is a buzzin'!

Had a pleasant afternoon with my friend. We've known each other for some years now but very seldom meet up. Last time I saw her was her birthday this time last year! Apart from a couple of chance meetings in the street. We texted a few times. The strange thing is she literally lives round the corner! She was a student when I was teaching and we have very similar philosophies of education in fact we have similar philosophies about a lot of things which I think is why we generally get on. It was good to have a catch up. And she is as Covid careful as anyone I know. She brought her own drink was careful where she sat. She tells me that both her sons and her son's wife have all had the virus, earlier in the year, March time I think she said, they work in London  and they travel on the underground. There was a point at which she thought her older son might have to be hospitalised but fortunately it didn't come to that. I think anybody who has been closely touched by the virus tends to be among the more careful people because they can see what a devastating illness it is. But we've said we'll get together again soon. We say that every time we meet. But it never seems to happen! Look up the weekend which can sometimes bring me down a lot. Even outside of lockdown I find the weekends tough.

Keeping it short today. The heat is getting to me.

Day One Hundred and Twenty Four - Corona Confusion

 In a week where we've been warned of the likelihood of a second wave occurring in the winter the government announce an, almost, end to lockdown and is looking towards ending social distancing in November. People can hug each other again. The logic of that is eluding me. Of course in November people will not be able to sit in each other's gardens and have their social distance get-togethers.  So that may be behind the decision. There is a move now to get people to go back to work. Even though somebody yesterday said it's still better to work from home. I just find myself hopelessly confused.  I have to say that I'm very grateful I'm retired. There must be a lot of anxious people fearing that they will be required to return to a workplace that may not be Covid secure. I don't envy them. And the government are putting the onus of responsibility on employers. There's a surprise. Fancy the government absolving themselves of any responsibility. Yeah, I know sarcasm is the lowest form of wit. They're also talking of a major flu vaccination program. I think that is to try and stop people getting the regular flu because the hospitals are going to be full of people with coronavirus.  However the regular flu jab hasn't always been successful has it? Even though I'm eligible for a free one, I've never had one.  I don't know who to trust. I don't know what the truth is. And I think that makes me more anxious than anything.

Saw a warning in the news. Telling people not to leave hand sanitisers in cars as the heat can set them on fire. Those that are alcohol-based, that is. Not all hand sanitiser are. And those that aren't probably are ineffective.

 Had a lovely phone conversation with my friend in Boston last evening. He was phoning to check on how my friend with cancer is doing. And I was keen to check on how he and his wife are doing! The situation in the states seems to be pretty much as here. Muddle and confusion. And he said an interesting thing, first time gun owners are on the rise. Weird isn't it? Do they think that having a gun  will protect them from coronavirus?

I'm back in unproductive mode or as I like to call it lazy mode. Apart from some laundry I've not really done anything constructive today. Apart from reading which to me is always constructive but not everybody sees it as so.  Also it's been much hotter today. I find it harder to do physical activities in the heat. That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it.

 Solitary walk today. Didn't see any of my wavers,  any of the characters I've encountered over these last few months. Some strangers jogging, walking. Strange how the early morning population has changed.  My friend and I were reminiscing yesterday about the early days of lockdown and how we miss it! Doesn't that sound contrary of us?!  But my sister said a similar thing. She said she felt she knew where she was April May time but now it's all so muddly and indecisive. I am filled with fear for this uncertain future. Will we ever look back and say do you remember coronavirus, COVID-19? Or is this something that will always be in our lives now.? Those of us who are older I mean. I'm sure that for some of the youngsters something else will come along and supersede it.

I have a friend coming round tomorrow afternoon. It's her birthday today but she's working. She was a teaching colleague. The first person I've had round outside of my regular circle. So I'm not sure what her attitude is towards the current situation. I'll report back tomorrow. 😉

Day One Hundred and Twenty Three - Frustration, Agitation and Aberration

I didn't go for my walk today. I was experiencing a lot of discomfort in both my hands and my legs. Plus when I finally woke this morning I didn't feel good. Sadly, that's not uncommon. Several years ago I was diagnosed with a condition called fibromyalgia. I've continued to seesaw between believing I have the condition and refusing to believe I have the condition! It was only a GP diagnosis. I was never referred to a specialist. It's not a condition that has any finite diagnosis but the usual practice is to refer a suspected case to a rheumatologist. I found that out from talking to other people who have been diagnosed with the condition. That never happened for me. Maybe I should've pursued it? I didn't. But a lot of the symptoms I experience crop up on the list of symptoms that are associated with fibromyalgia. Today is one of those days when I feel like I have it! It's an aberration. In the early days of lockdown I feared that I was going down with coronavirus. Even though I recognised the symptoms. There was always that fear. I suppose there still is to a degree but it's not as intense.

However I did go out. I planned to return my library books.  I thought I would try and have something of a walk today because I know it does me good. Silly me. It was a most frustrating experience. According to the website the library opens at nine so I left 20 minutes before that so that I could walk up to the roundelay, look at the sea,  walk round the Library Gardens and the churchyard and be there for opening time. I even planned a little deviation from that route because I went down the flight of steps to the road leading to the station and walked up the hill.  The only steps I've negotiated have been those in my own home and I was keen to see how my body would take to an alternative flight. Not the best time to have done it maybe but there you go. I then continued on into town. And that's like an obstacle course because you're trying to avoid people who have no intention of keeping a social distance, aren't wearing facemasks. I was the only person wearing a face mask! So it gets me very agitated. And it's further confirmation that I am alone in my paranoia and fear of this pestilence. Anyway I refused to be thwarted from my intent which was to walk through the library Gardens and the churchyard which I did. By which time it was 9 o'clock and I confidently marched up to the library. Nothing. No lights on. So I thought I'd do another turn around the Library Gardens. Bit more walking won't do me any harm. Returned to the library, still nothing. This time I phoned them. There was no answer. So I could only conclude that their opening hours are different from those on the website. I'll have to give them another ring and plan another trip. It hasn't put me in a good mood. Because I'm still hurting too even though I took some painkillers with breakfast. And I feel very fuzzy headed. So it will be a quiet day.

I have phoned the library. They are open from 10 till 2. But the lady did say I could put my books through the letterbox if I wanted. So that gives me another option. Maybe I'll try again tomorrow. I've done nothing today. Nothing of any consequence that is. Was on the phone for ages to my friend and she was telling me all about yesterday. She is in fact more worried about contracting coronavirus than having a kidney removed! They're going to have to quarantine for a total of three weeks! Two weeks prior to the surgery and one week afterwards. She has to go up three days before the surgery for a Covid test. When she asked if she could have it done locally the consultant said he wanted it done in that hospital so that no test results go missing. I can understand that because part of the delay was because our local hospital failed to send up the full body scan to the London free hospital.

What was interesting was how all of them were reacting to having what to all intents and purposes was "a day out". My friend said she found herself very lacking in confidence for moving round the hospital. Her partner was allowed to go in with her to see the consultant. She hadn't thought that was going to be possible. But then he went back to the car park while she had her pre-assessment checks. And although she knew the way from where she was having the assessment to the car park she found herself doubting her knowledge of the route. She and her daughter both say they were absolutely exhausted by the end of the day. I am fascinated to see what the long-term results of this lockdown and this whole situation of anxiety? fear? paranoia? will actually do to us.

There was a curious story in the news today about 61 sailors on board a trawler who all tested negative for coronavirus before they left. They spent 35 days at sea and were found to have contracted coronavirus upon returning to land! It's proving to be something of a mystery to understand how they got infected and how the disease reach an isolated ship. The current thinking is that it was human contact or contact with merchandise, products or supplies but as far as they know  for 35 days no one or anything was put on the ship. It does throw the whole testing thing into some kind of doubt. Because maybe just one of the sailors had the virus, it didn't show up on the test i.e. tested negative but obviously in a confined space like that it must've spread like wildfire. It is yet more evidence that this virus is one of the weirdest things. Or someone is a fibber. And they did meet up with people or something came on the ship during the voyage. We'll never know that I suppose unless someone whistle blows.

The original guidance that suggested people should avoid public transport if they're going to work sees a u-turn. There are concerns that the viability of public transport is being put at risk because people are too scared to use it. Certainly in London that seems to be the case. I don't want to go on a bus or a train. Not at the moment anyway.

Day One Hundred and Twenty Two - Music, Surgery and Objections

My poor friend who sometimes give me a lift to tai chi has broken her wrist in two places! She fell over a wall. Goodness me, the accidents that have occurred during this lockdown really make me wonder if home is a safe place? She won't be restarting tai chi. But she agrees with some of my concerns about how the tai chi teacher is organising the classes and his overall attitude. I felt a bit better about that. Didn't feel it was just me being over cautious and paranoid.

I managed to catch the postie on duty today and ask him about Leon. He says he hasn't seen him for about a month. He hasn't been at work. But they don't tell staff why people are off. I was immediately concerned that Leon might have contracted COVID-19. But this guy said no they've been told that none of the posties in their office have gone down with the virus. That's a good thing to hear but it does make me concerned for Leon; whether he's had an accident or something. The postie said it might be stress. They've been under such pressure with the increasing post because of people buying stuff online during lockdown. Ridiculously I felt guilty.

My current bout of "productivity" is taking its toll on my body. I had to stop my gardening activities this morning because my wrist just was so painful. I put a medicated pad thing on it that had a cooling affect which was comforting. But it does make me mad. I just wanna get on and do things. It's not that I'm unwilling it's just that my body will not let me. I did do some more housework though. And I've sorted one or two little bits. I phoned the library about how to return my books. They're not properly open for people to go and browse. I wouldn't anyway. But they have what they calling a click and collect service. You can reserve up to 7 books online and then go and pick them up. I don't think I'll do that because I have lots of books to read. But they have a place where you can go and return your books. I've got two I've have had out since March, February even so it'll be a good thing for me to get those back. I might do that tomorrow. The library is one of the things I miss. But I don't miss it so much that I want to borrow books that might be contaminated.

My friend who has cancer is up at the London hospital this afternoon. I hope she'll let me know how it goes when she gets back. But if she doesn't I'll just have to wait and be patient. She'll probably be emotional and tired.

I haven't mentioned my walking music lately have I?  A great variety of music from Cher to David Bowie. I've also been playing some of my own compilations. Some years ago the radio station jazz FM had a late night programme called the Late Lounge. And it played a marvellous collection of ambient and chill out music. I also used to download a podcast called Bit Sounds. Again it was similar music. Kind of sad and musically using what I call "rain chords ". There is something mournful and moving about the music. I'm also still playing through my CDs in the home. And one I tried to play yesterday wouldn't play and I was fearful that my CD machine had failed. When I tried the CD in the computer it spat it out in disgust. So I think the disk might be corrupted. It was a burnt disc not a shop bought one. However I was so disappointed because I enjoyed the music so much that I downloaded it from the iTunes Store. It was a soundtrack to a TV series from the 70s called the Rock Follies. I think my dear friend in Gran Canaria who sometimes read this blog will remember the music and the series. So that was what I was listening to this morning and joyfully remembering the majority of the lyrics and belting them out.

A lot of people in the country are objecting to the mandatory wearing of a face mask in shops. I don't remember there being such a vocal objection when they were made mandatory on public transport. But I just think it's this country. People would object to whatever they're asked to do. They can't look at the bigger picture and consider the reasons why. I laughed a few days ago because one politician said it shouldn't be mandatory It should be left to the common sense of the people. But they haven't got any common sense as far as I can see! There was even a #NoMasks hashtag on social media yesterday. But whatever happens, whatever you're asked to do, there will always be people who are compliant and people who violently oppose. And I think it's particularly prevalent in a country like ours. Democracy and freedom. I think that's what it's called? I wear one whenever I go out apart from my morning walk when I see too few people for it to be necessary. But if they made it compulsory to wear them I would on my walk too, it wouldn't bother me. Except they can steam your glasses up if you don't get them on properly.

As I'm writing this I've just had a message from my friend. She is having the surgery on the 13th of August. It's not that I'm superstitious but I wish it wasn't the 13th. Am I being silly? She's having the pre-assessment now. She has to go up three days before to have a Covid test. She'll be in three nights. And she has to quarantine in two weeks time and then for one week after. I've got very mixed emotions. I'm glad that something is being done. Glad the treatment is going to start. But I still feel dreadfully worried about her. It's only natural isn't it? I'll be worried even if it wasn't lockdown and there wasn't the risk of Covid.

Day One Hundred and Twenty One - Flying Ants, Drizzle and Decisions

My friend and her daughter turned up quite late in the afternoon yesterday. But we had a very pleasant hour or so sitting out in the garden, chatting. There wasn't much more my friend could tell me about her hospital appointment. But it looks as though the delay was because our local hospital had failed to send all of the scans up to the London hospital. I suppose hospitals are under pressure at the moment. Can we be too critical?  We also discussed coronavirus and the different attitudes. I think any time you get together with others now you talk about COVID-19. They think I am quite paranoid. But that's okay, I'll be paranoid. I'll also be safe. We had some cabaret! It was Flying Ant day and we watched the little creatures as they made their bid for freedom and life. Then we saw the gulls circling in the sky ready to pick the poor little devils off once they got airborne.

I also had a text from my tai chi teacher which has actually confirmed my decision to not return to the class yet. I had asked him whether the structure of the class would be changing and he said that it would stay the same except he wouldn't be adjusting posture so social distancing would apply. But he said a caveat being that if someone asked him to adjust or test out he would. That made me realise that he wasn't serious about social distancing. I asked him about face masks. And he said people have to make their own choices about whether they wear them or not. He affirmed quite emphatically that he would not be wearing one. That was another little chink of doubt as to his commitment to keeping us Covid safe. And he wants paying in cash which I expected. I can't see any other effective way that he could collect the subs. He concluded by wishing me the strength to make the right choices which I found almost amusing.

I had a nice little exchange with Sue, the Waver this morning. She was brought up on the Isle of Wight which is where she developed her love of walking. We talked about nature and flowers and gardens and how flowers evoked memories. We talked about our parents. It was a very pleasant conversation. I hope I see her again. It clearly rained in the night but I was confident that it had stopped when I set out for my walk. But it was that insidious drizzle and I was actually soaked by the time I got home. Somehow I didn't mind. It didn't really matter. And the rain drizzle clouds made everything look eerie and ghostly on the estuary. Spooky. And there were less people about as well. That was another thing that Sue, the Waver commented on.

Face coverings will be mandatory in all shops and supermarkets in England from the 24th of July. Children under 11 and those with disabilities will be exempt and there'll be fines of up to £100 for those who fail to comply. So that's public transport shops and supermarkets. Why not everywhere? Are people going to take them on and off?

Scientists are advising the government that a second wave of coronavirus infections in the UK this winter could be more severe than the first. They reckon but they do say it's the worst case scenario there could be nearly 120,000 hospital deaths but stressed effective prep and response  - lockdowns, treatment, vaccines could reduce the risk. I have this horrible fear that everything is going to get going again and then it will all have to stop. I'm sure that's why I'm reluctant to come out of lockdown. Because to me it seems easier to stay in it than come out and go back again! But don't forget I am paranoid!

Day One Hundred and Twenty - Appointments, Butterflies and Caution

Had a call from my friend today. She's seen her son and there seems to be some resolution. There are still things she wants to discuss with him but not at the moment. Anyway as they parted he told her he loved her which has made her very happy. I don't think there was ever any doubt about that he was just being an arse. But she has also heard about her treatment. She has an appointment at the Royal Free hospital i London on Wednesday afternoon. What the outcome of that will be I don't know,  she may be given pre-op appointments and an actual date for the surgery. She was supposed be popping round this afternoon when I hoped she'd tell me more but so far she hasn't turned up. It may be too hot for her. There is a significant change in the atmosphere and the temperature today. I think we may get getting close to flying ant day. Their activities are frantic at the moment.

In other wildlife news I've been keeping a tally of butterflies I've spotted this year. Today I've seen several Peacocks and several Red Admirals. I've seen one Comma and one Marbled White this season. Lots of the little blue butterflies and of course the much undervalued Large Cabbage White and Small Cabbage white butterflies who are equally beautiful in their own way. A couple of orange tips in the spring. I would expect to be seeing some Painted Ladies and some Gatekeepers, maybe a Tortoiseshell. If I see any more than that I'll be lucky indeed. I love butterflies by the way in case you hadn't guessed.

I sent a message to my tai chi teacher saying that whilst I didn't want to give up tai chi I didn't feel ready to come back at the moment. Because I was being very cautious about the whole situation. He hasn't replied to me. He often doesn't though. I feel comfortable with that decision. At the moment it's  the right one for me. From what I'm reading in the news about COVID-19 I think I'm right to continue to be cautious. I really don't want to get this illness. The recovery, if  it could be called recovery, seems to take months and potentially leads to lasting damage. They're saying that what they initially thought it was a respiratory virus seems to attack other organs in the body. Which makes it even more scary especially as I'm getting old. And then I start to fret about my brother and sister and I want them to stay well too.

I'm staying on top of my "increased productivity" regime. Every day I'm trying to do some housework and some gardening. The trouble is both activities affect my back and my hands to the extent that I can only do it for a certain time before I have to stop. It's driving me nuts. I've actually done two sessions of gardening today because after the first one my hands just wouldn't move! But I'm not giving up

Day One Hundred and Nineteen - Is Coronavirus over?

Glorious morning. One of those days when the blue seems so blue and the green seems so green and the air seems so pure. There was one single cloud in the sky. I couldn't resist taking a photo.

And as I walked it was one of those curious days where the perspective seems to create all manner of optical illusions. As I neared the end of the road it looked like the ruined castle was much nearer than it ought to be. But when I got to the end of the road it looked as far away as it usually did. Another curious anomaly, trick of the light was on the way back as I looked out over the estuary. It looked as if there was a submarine rising to the surface of the water! Ridiculous. I don't think there's enough depth of water for such an event to occur. Then I realised it was the cabin of the boat and the dark shadow it cast on the water that made it look exactly like a submarine. Lovely walk spoilt only by this very dismal sight. The detritus of a Saturday night.

But before we get too negative I had the glorious sight of a mother fox and her cub playing on the grass. Actually, no, I don't think she was playing, I think the cub was, and she was very anxious to get the little one to safety. An adolescent cub, I reckon, a few months old but starting to explore the world. I hope they stay safe. I was too far away and I didn't want to cause her any more anxiety by trying to take any photos. But my two crows were in the broom tree again and they just fill me with such delight.

Housework, laundry (Sunday is bed linen change day!), gardening and reading. That's what I've done today. I've also eaten. But that goes without saying doesn't it? I spoke on the phone with my brother too which is another feature of Sunday and one I really look forward to. I managed to spend a fair bit of time reading outside. It was reasonably quiet. I've come in now because my next door neighbours have got the Bluetooth speaker out there and the constant beat disturbs my concentration. So it seemed a good time as any to come in and go a-blogging.

I had a Sainsbury's delivery today. Up to now the system has seemed to work very well. The one thing that has disturbed me a bit is that they've been delivering everything in carrier bags, I'm mindful of the plastic. But I understand the reason why. The driver would put all your shopping in the carrier bags outside your door, ring the doorbell and stand back by your gate. The paperwork would be in one of the bags. Social distancing, no unnecessary interaction. That all seems to have changed. The delivery driver rang at the door and wanted to hand me the paperwork. No social distance. No attempt. I stood back and took the paper at arm's-length as if to make the point. He looked at me as if I was weird. And then he brought the shopping in the crates they always used B.C. And put it in my hall! I was shocked but he still didn't get it. Fortunately I had protective gloves on so I quickly transferred everything from his crate into my bag. He wanted me to sign his a little electronic device. I refused. The system was exactly as it was B.C. Why? Is coronavirus over? Why has nobody told me?

Day One Hundred and Eighteen - Covid snake, Conundrums and Contemplations

Today I finally managed to take a video of the Covid  snake in its entirety. 1 used my regular digital camera which had a videoing facility on it.

One thing I've noticed is that the smaller stones are hidden by the growth of the grass. Where we've had so much rain in recent days some of the stones have been washed clean sadly. But I think you get an idea of the commitment and number of people getting involved.

I saw carrier bag man again today. But he was on his way back. So I couldn't follow through with my plan of seeing what he did with the carrier bag! I've also noticed several occasions now when I've been walking, a man photographing the main bed in the middle of the roundelay. I also saw him right at the other end of the cliff campus once. I was curious. I wasn't sure if he was photographing a flower, the same flower or maybe some unusual butterfly,  moth or other insect activity. Today I plucked up the courage to actually ask him because he's nodded to me on a couple of occasions. And he is a photographer who normally does landscapes. But as part of his lockdown activities he's been photographing the same flowers to see how they progress through the blooming cycle. And he says that particular place on the cliffs where the wind blows it sometimes gives the effect that the flowers are dancing. I thought this was lovely. And I'm really glad that I stopped and asked him.

My tai chi teacher gave me a conundrum, another one, yesterday.  He says he has spoken to the church about the class restarting and he's been given the go-ahead to start. The proviso being is that he has to clean down used equipment bracket chairs) all doorhandles stair rails and if the toilets are used then he has to clean them as well he said he's not too happy with that. He's probably going to start with a Tuesday morning tai chi and  the Friday morning Quigong and leave Tuesday evening until further notice. So the big question for us is are we ready to come back on Tuesday, the 4th of August for tai chi? He will need a certain amount of people to just break even. He says that some people on his address list have decided not to come anymore and he wants everybody to let him know if that's the case so he can take us off. I don't know what I'm going to reply yet because there are all kinds of implications here. I'm frankly quite shocked that the church is absolving themselves of the responsibility to keep the premises Covid safe. And I don't know how thorough my teacher would be about cleaning everything. I don't think he should have to. The other thing is will we have to wear facemasks?  Does he expect us to pay in cash. How will he manage the social distancing. I know there is one chap in the open air class who won't do anything about Covid he says it's just a cold and he says he hasn’t followed any of the guidelines. I'm not sure I want to be in a class with somebody who has that attitude. My gut instinct is not to go. I don’t want to leave tai chi completely but I don’t know if I’m ready to start on the 4th of August.

Some gardening and some housework this morning. And my back knows it! So that kind of curtailed any meaningful activity this afternoon. I’ve been reading. Actually I’ve been catching up on several back issues of the TLS. I’ve also taken some photographs of some of the flowers in my garden. And a beautiful peacock butterflies are delighted on the badly. Some gardening and some housework this morning. And my back knows it! So it kind of curtailed any meaningful activity this afternoon. I’ve been reading. Actually I’ve been catching up on several back issues of the TLS. I’ve also taken some photographs of some of the flowers in my garden. And a beautiful peacock butterfly who alighted on the buddleia. (I have noticed that although I have corrected the predictive text in the draft post when it is published it’s showing the original errors. ‘Alighted on the buddleia). There is much ant activity underfoot. I worry about crushing them. I can see some of the young in the gaps in the patio stones. But it’s not flying ant day yet it’s not humid enough. But I love watching insects; the bees, the ants and the butterflies. They couldn’t give a shit about coronavirus. And their life cycles continue unhampered. But their lives are not without peril. I found a honeybee in the grip of a white crab spider the other day. And the birds are out looking for the ants. And the butterflies too I guess. These everyday predators are their COVID-19 I suppose,  in a manner of speaking.

I’ve got that Saturday afternoon feeling. It’s very odd how days of the week have a certain feel to them. I’m sure I’ve mentioned this before. But I could do the same things on a different afternoon, say Friday. But it wouldn’t feel the same. There is something so Saturday afternoon about today. And it makes me feel sad, incomplete somehow. Because I think back to other Saturday afternoons and how I was never as isolated as I am now. There is still that curious little frisson that renders the weekend as different from the weekdays. Yes I’d say I prefer the weekdays now that I’m old and retired and so alone. Lockdown just emphasises that feeling. Today I went up to the spare bedroom for something or other, I can’t remember what it was now, and I had this intent yearning for my brother to be staying here. Some memory or other from a time when he stayed and it was a Saturday afternoon like today. We’ve probably been somewhere and we were chilling with a cup of tea on a Saturday afternoon in the sunshine. It wasn’t a precise memory it was just a feeling. I’ve been getting a lot of those during this lockdown.

Day One Hundred and Seventeen - Accidents and Incidents

I sallied forth this morning fearing a rain sword as I ventured beneath a sky of Damoclean darkness. Yeah, the gym junkie in me is not yet extinguished. After two days of not having a proper walk I was desperate to do it today. And I did. It didn't rain, well maybe a spot or two. But I was determined to do it whether I got soaked or not. And I did the full route. Not without incident I might add. As I reached the prow of the hill I could see the blue flashing lights of the emergency services. As I got closer there were police cars blocking the road so that no vehicles could venture forth. There looked to be masses of debris across the road, bits of car and bits of foliage everywhere. There were guys in orange hi viz jackets alongside the police in their yellow high viz jackets and they were clearing up leaves from the bushes that line the street. That makes it sound less than it actually was. I wasn't sure what had happened but I wondered if they'd had to cut down the bushes to get somebody out of the car. I had no intention of being a rubbernecker so I continued on my way and I passed a smashed up BMW that they obviously got off the road somehow. I saw no ambulance but I imagine whoever was in it was probably well on their way to hospital. I hope they're okay. I saw no other vehicle. My guess is that whoever was behind the wheel of the BMW was simply driving too fast and lost control on the wet road. It's a bit of a problem now. Because the roads are significantly clearer, or certainly they were, some of the younger drivers have been going way too fast. I've noticed it on many occasions. I guess they think at that time in the morning with no one else around they can put their foot down. This was a stark reminder that you just can't do that in an urban area. Later today I googled the incident and found that it made the news although there were no more details other than to say a car collided with some bushes. That makes it sound almost comical doesn't it? But it really wasn't.

I had a good old tidy up downstairs today and cleaned the dining room with polish and everything. I always feel better when things are tidy and in their place. Makes my head feel better. I had some more bookwork to do. And I need to catch up a bit on my reading as my pace has slowed down in recent weeks. Actually since my friend's cancer diagnosis. I was going great guns before that.

The weather cleared to not exactly a summer's day but no more rain and the sun creeping through on occasions. But when it does it brings out all the noise - all the power tools. I've had to shut the doors and windows because whatever tool they're using today has the sound frequency that just goes straight through your head. Bit like nails down a blackboard - for those of you old enough to remember blackboards.

Sweet little surprise today. Ring at the doorbell. I thought it was the postman with a book. But it wasn't, it was my friend's daughter and two of the grandchildren. They are apparently staying over tonight. I don't know whether that is consistent with lockdown protocol or not. But it's not my place to say. My friend's daughter was taking the two oldest girls for a walk along the cliffs while my friend stayed with the youngest. It was hilarious. They stood outside and sang We wish you a Merry Christmas! That appealed to my sense of humour. And then both the girls had to show me their T-shirts. And I jokingly said could I have one to wear, I'm sure it will fit me which for some reason always amuses children. But I felt sad when they left. For I wished that I could go to. If it wasn't for this damned lockdown I could. But there you go it's no good fretting. It won't get me anywhere. I'll pop down and see my friend and her daughter next week. Once treatment starts I'm expecting them to be in quarantine again so I need to make the most of an opportunity to see them.

I finally had a reply from my gardener this morning. He is fully booked up. He is not taking on any more clients. I half expected that. But he says he will try and see what he can do if I feel ready to have somebody around the place. I'm relieved he replied because I was worried he just wasn't going to bother with me. And I think he will try and fit me in for a one off. But I think it will be nearer the end of the season when there's all the big stuff to cut down which I can't manage. I've told him the garden is "wild".

The post eventually arrived this afternoon. It's getting very late. And I haven't seen Leon for several weeks now. I'm a little bit worried. I hope it's because he's changed rounds. They often do. these posties, not sure if they get bored with one round or whether it's a policy to swap them around. I just hope he hasn't got sick. I might try and ask one of the current personnel if I can actually get hold of one to talk to. It's not so easy today. I liked Leon. He was efficient and friendly. It's also useful and advantageous to be on good terms with a regular postman because they keep an eye on things for you. If something is wrongly addressed they maybe recognise the name and they can get it to you whereas the post people that don't know you haven't a clue. Not their fault of course but it's nice to have that continuity of service that you get with a regular one. I think it's because I have so many books that I get to know the postie. The guy before Leon, Luke, was another one I got on really well with.

I've no idea what's going on in the rest of the world. I'm not particularly bothered at the moment. It can all go on around me. I'm sure if there's anything serious, major ,vital, for me to understand somebody will bring it to my attention. Have at thee world, I need thee not.